BGUTI (pronounced Bə-ˈgü-tē) is an acronym that stands for: “Better get used to it.”

I work in education and I have kids of my own, so I hear this phrase a lot.

An article about how this gets abused in education.

Kids in kindergarten get homework so they can get used to it.

And, worse than the homework BGUTI, is the BGUTI said towards our dear ones with regard to life’s disappointments.

  • “You’d better get used to disappointment, young man. That’s how the world is!”
  • “You’d better get used to heartache, sweetheart.”
  • “You’d better get used to doing meaningless work.”
  • “You’d better get used to it, because that’s how it is.”

What principle are we trying to spread here? Do we want kids to grow up thinking life is just a series of pointless, endless suffering? That their future life – their life as an adult – will be miserable?

Here’s what’s wrong with BGUTI.

BGUTI is almost always used with either:

  1. A dismissive, callow attitude
  2. Smug, schadenfreude-like joy as though we get great pleasure from hazing subordinates to suffer, simply because we had to suffer and/or are suffering.

Why do we BGUTI others?

I can’t figure out a good reason.

Instead of saying BGUTI when a kid is having a hard time, wouldn’t a more proper response be a compassionate one? Something like: “I’m sorry you’re having a hard time.”

I cannot imagine a time where telling another person BGUTI is a good thing, with the exception of compassionately suggesting we accept the discomfort associated with change.

While I’m hesitant to “BGUTI” others, I have no problem self-reflecting on things I ought to get used to.

Here is my BGUTI list of things I ought to accept:

  • I cannot make the world be what I want it to it be.
  • Sadness, sorrow, and frustration are here to stay.
  • People will disappoint me.

I know that I must get used to these things.

Spiritual-religious advice:

Stop BGUTI’ing others.

With love,

 

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