Getting More of What We Want

77% Weekly Newsletter

Getting More of What We Want

A few weeks ago, I asked you to compare responses from two friends, Georgia and Clarence. Let’s revisit:

One day, Georgia and Clarence invite me to go jogging with them.

At the meeting spot, Georgia beams with excitement and says, “Come on, let’s go!”

Clarence, on the other hand, scolds: “Those shoes are all wrong. You need real jogging shorts. And your socks? No support at all.”

We know who I would rather spend time with.

Now, let’s fast forward to another scene—this time, I’ve been invited to the home of Georgia and Clarence.

Let’s imagine after the meal I say to Georgia, “I really loved the soup you made” and she responds warmly, “Thank you! I really love hearing compliments.”

But when I say the same thing to Clarence—“I really loved the soup you made”—he responds, “I wish I hadn’t burned the potatoes.”

It’s a small moment, but a revealing one.

Georgia accepted the compliment with ease, but Clarence? Not so much. He didn’t even seem to notice my praise.

Chances are I’ll compliment Georgia again.

Why?

Because she let me know that it’s what she wants.

We can tell people how we wish to be treated.

This doesn’t mean that they’ll go along with it.

But, there’s a better chance we will get what we want if we make it known.

Related to this, I like it when readers respond to these articles that I write.

(Just saying.)

5 wisdom biscuits

Five Wisdom Biscuits

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Annoyance Bingo

Annoyance Bingo.Lose your patience. Win big. ✧✧✧ Game play begins Tuesday, April 21, 2026, at 12:00am PT — First Prize: $100 ✧✧✧ The Origin of Annoyance Bingo. For years, I’ve asked mourners at funerals to track the least compassionate things said in an attempt to comfort them — and send me the best (and worst) examples. The idea: when someone

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Image of a child doing a shoulder ride.

Wastefully

  Episcopal Bishop John Shelby Spong would answer the question “how shall we express love?” with a single word: “Wastefully.”    ✧✧✧   We don’t express love wastefully. A story and then some thinking about why.   ✧✧✧   It’s 2006. I’m in NYC to—among other things—celebrate the fifth birthday of my first niece, Maya.  I wait outside her school

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77% Weekly Newsletter
77% Weekly Newsletter