Greeting Cards.

I’d like to manufacture a line of greeting cards: “Congratulations on your Child’s Conversion!”

There ought to be demand; there is a marked uptick in religious conversion numbers during uncertain times.

I can imagine the card’s cover would have a picture of an arrow. Bold text floats above the graphic:

Extraordinary! Wonderful. The trip has begun!
You must be so proud of your daughter or son.

On the inside, probably in gold foil, it would say

Congratulations! You raised an adult who found a spiritualigious practice that fits their lifestyle and beliefs.

Then maybe a heart.

With all the denominations out there, the card would have to be pretty generic.



*Celebrate what they found

It is my belief that members of religions that maintain science over fantasy ought to celebrate their children’s spiritualigious call to follow their own path to (the) God (of their understanding).


Why ought members of religions that maintain science over fantasy celebrate their children’s spiritualigious call to follow a different path to (the) God (of their understanding)?

Because members of all religions ought to celebrate their children’s spiritualigious call to follow a path to (the) God (of their understanding).




Most are born into a religion and later told what they ought to believe based on an uninformed decision they didn’t make.

What if they don’t believe the words when they find out what they’ve been saying?

What if they come to believe something other than that?

I remember being crushed to find out that the words of my favorite Hebrew hand-jive — Dovey Melech Yisrael — means King David is alive and his rule eternal.

The only hurt potential converts really cause is the blow to their family’s narcissistic daydream of unity.



*Celebrate the children a little less, please

Maybe let’s take about 20% off our participation in these outlandish, community-wide celebrations of a minor swearing sacred (and assumed permanent) allegiance to one group above others—even as many of the wise members of the community say in hallowed tones, “Yeah, verily unto death.”

‘Cause, um, really?

We might be colluding.

Minors might not be old enough to be making such proclamations.

A joke we rabbis tell:

You know why the b’mitzvah age is 13?
Because we could never get a 14-year old to do it.



*Mortal soul

“But what about my child’s mortal soul, now that they have converted?”

“What about it?”

“On a metric I have chosen to believe to be true, my child’s soul is in peril.”

“That must be terrifying for you.”

“It is.”

“And I bet it makes you really, really mad sometimes.”

“It does. I’m both scared and mad.”

“I’m guessing you didn’t like the card. I’m sorry for sending it. Seemed like a good idea at the time.”

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