Dear God,
I’ve not written for a while.
I’d say, it’s because conceptualizing you as other, separate from me, doesn’t sit well with my mature faith.
However, as a spiritualigious exemplar—someone from whom others derive some of their spiritualigious thinking—I’m ok with modeling inconsistent theology. I believe my allowing people to see that behind the curtains my God-ducks do not perfectly aligned might free someone to have a messy theology, too.
So, the other reason—the real one—not to contradict what I’ve just written, is that I’ve been feeling far from you.
Or from myself. As the case might be.
I’d like to rectify this.
I’d like to feel more of a conscious connection with my highest sense of self.
You.
Me.
Us.
-Brian
***
A quote by Camus:
I realized, through it all, that, In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.
And that makes me happy.
For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger—something better, pushing right back.
***
Dear God,
Life, when I look at it with a wide perspective, is subtle, sublime.
Excellent.
Grand.
Inspiring.
Awesome.
It is beautiful.
Indeed.
Hard.
Exhausting.
Yet beautiful.
So beautiful.
Even the hard parts.
Maybe, especially the hard parts.
-Brian
***
Camus’s invincible summer is a metaphor for an adult relationship with the divine—something eternal, present, leaning towards the good. Not without. Within.
Here’s the full quote:
My dear,
In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love.
In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile.
In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm.
I realized, through it all, that… In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.
And that makes me happy.
For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.
Truly yours,
Albert Camus
***
My dear.
God.
I thank you for the time together.
Me. And. You.
Don’t be too distant.
I won’t be either.
Truly yours,
Brian
—
With love,
Rabbi Brian
