I’m sorry; I seem to have had a revelation.


Revelations 101

I’m not 100% certain how to deliver these messages that I have—or if you are one of the people who is supposed to heed my words.


I mean, who, other than a pompous ass, tells people they had a revelation and asks them to read it?


But you chose to read past the headline. You don’t have to keep reading. You can stop now. 


Rational people don’t have revelations. Or at least they aren’t supposed to have revelations. 


I claim to have had a revelation, so I must be nuts? 



I’m not nuts. But I have to admit something. 


About 10 years ago, I made up a pretend friend, an archangel named Pen-uel. In this fantasy world, Pen-uel works in the Courts of the Heavens, Department of Art and Records. 


Sometimes, I pretend to have gotten a phone call or a message from him.


For example, let’s say I am talking with someone still teetering towards converting to Judaism—I might jokingly pretend to take a call from Pen-uel letting me know that God is officially happy with the Hebrew name the new convert has chosen.


I know that is make-believe.

My revelations are not.


I don’t have details about how I got these revelations or why.

Though, I can get a certificate saying I had a genuine revelation.

I know a guy.

Two apologies


I apologize for my revelation for two reasons. 


  1. Religion. Individual revelations have been the basis of hurting many, and apologies must be made


  1. Shame. Revelations smack of judgment.


Some of the things done in the name of God have been some of the lowest acts of humanity.


While I’m not the clergy-person who might have caused you hurt, I would like to apologize on their behalf—because they owe you an apology, and at this time they are unable to give it to you.


House of worship reconciliation starts with recognizing the hurts we caused.

We, in the seat of humanity’s moral authority, have done great damage.


Some of the revelations might induce a shame response in you. It might sound like I’m scolding you for not being at a standard higher than where you currently are. I quote my friend Larry who says, “Our standards are beyond us for a reason.” 


For any shame that you have in my encouraging you to live the best life you can, I apologize. 

The revelations


The revelation is:

“Be yourself.”

“You belong.”

“The universe is glad you are here.”


The revelation is:


“Listen to Jimi Hendrix: Let the power of your love overtake your love of power.”


The revelation is:


“Be as filled with complaints and bitch about how miserable you are as much as you want.”


The revelation is:

“Grow up. Stop projecting a perfect cis-white male as God. It’s tedious.”

“Take your spiritualigous life seriously, because your life (in this world) depends on it.”

“How immaculately, how cleanly, how authentically you are you—you, unique, perfect snowflake—the better.”

“Don’t put off eternal life into the next world. You can find it, in moments, here. And now.


The revelation is:

“God said this isn’t hide and seek, it’s right here in front of you.”

“God said you are the treasure map.”

“God asks, ‘Can you live as honestly as an 18-month old spontaneously bopping to music?’”


The revelation is:

“Be nice.”


The revelation is:

“Laugh a little. ”



I’m not really sure what to write here. 


It feels like I should give a directive—like maybe: do something to remind yourself of something I wrote. 


If something I wrote stuck with you, write it out on an index card. 

Put it next to your credit card. 

Live into the change you want to be.


Or don’t.


Maybe don’t change your ways. 

Keep doing what you’ve been.

That’s cool, too.


Again, I’m sorry to have had the revelation. 

Rabbi Brian Zachary Mayer resides in Portland, Oregon. He is the founder and head of Religion-Outside-The-Box oldrotb.wpengine.com, an internet-based, global group of 3.3K+ digital-age seekers. ROTB produces excellent spiritual content.

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