Today might just be “Have a Mentor” Day. (I invented it. Play along with me.)
I want you to imagine yourself as a mentor. Think of a youngster, someone who doesn’t know as much as you do about general life kinds of things. Maybe this is a high school student or a young person interested in working in the same professional field as you.
Think about the role of a mentor – to provide guidance, support, caring, and resources. You’re teaching a mentee what they need to know. You’d be assisting them in their personal, professional, or psychological development.
If your mentee arrives late to your meeting, you might coach them on the importance of punctuality and the consequences of tardiness. But you wouldn’t yell at them harshly, “You were late! I’m never gonna be your mentor again!” That would absurd, right?
A mentor is supposed to be a gentle guide. The idea is to establish a healthy, long-term relationship with this person, to be patient with them over time. You have to be kind. They have to want you to be their mentor, or it just won’t work.
So why bring this up? Here’s the Rabbi Brian catch – where it gets flipped around a little bit.
I want you to think of yourself as a mentor to yourself.
As of today, you are now officially your own mentor.
Think about how you would best mentor yourself, assisting yourself with whatever you’re going through in life right now. What if you were to treat yourself the way you would treat an actual mentee – with respect, kindness, and caring?
I have this feeling that you, like the rest of us, are a little harsh on yourself. You probably engage in some self-castigation every once in awhile – maybe often.
You probably kick your own ass pretty hard thinking this might motivate you to do the best you can. This is just silly, right?
I’m suggesting, and even hoping, that you can find some compassion for yourself.
You wouldn’t treat a young mentee the way you might treat yourself, so why would you do it to yourself?
Where did any of us ever get the idea that we ought to beat ourselves up? That’s just silly.
Spiritual-religious advice: Be a kind mentor to yourself.
