Patience: one thing, tried 1,000 times

I want to teach you how to cultivate patience in one aspect of your life.

Actually, I’d like to teach you to have patience with ALL aspects of your life—but I can’t fulfill that offer.

What I can do is offer you a technique that I have used with people to help them gain patience with one aspect of their life.

So choose carefully for what you’d like patience.

What one aspect of your life would you like to have more patience with?

Maybe it’s patience with your mother, patience with annoying people, patience with your partner, or patience with self-criticism.

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Instructions:

Write down the number 1000.

Write down the thing with which you would like patience.

“I would like to have patience with _______________.”

Read on.

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The (so-called) “elite” sophomore class at De La Salle North Catholic High School was my greatest challenge.

They brag about how last year they made Ms. V cry in class and then take an extended leave of absence.

In attempting to teach them, I would snap pencils in my hands.

They would make me want to quit—until I used this technique I learned at a professional development class.

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Before they come into the room, I write the number 1,000 on the top left corner of the white board.

And then I teach. And, wait.

Days go by, nobody notices the 1,000 innocently on the board.

When a student rockets a packet of gummy bears, overhand, way too hard, at a classmate—instead of yelling (what my instinct tells me to do), I walk over, erase the number 1,000 and replace it with the number 999.

I don’t mention what I am doing (or why), and say quietly, “Hey, Jordan, underhand next time, please.”

They don’t ask about the number and I don’t mention it.

A few weeks later, Julian slams a book on a table, scaring most of us with the terrific sound. Again without comment, I go to the corner of the board, I erase the 999, and I replace it with 998.

Taryn asks, “Mister-Rabbi, what are you doing with the countdown?”

The class quiets to hear me answer, “I made a commitment to teach you, and I will not quit until I have tried one thousand times. I will not quit first. I will not give up.”

I never again lost my cool with them and they became a great cohort.

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• Write the number 1,000 somewhere.
• Remind yourself of your commitment to developing patience with the thing you wrote about.
• When you next are about to snap, cross out 1,000 and write 999.
• Continue until you’ve learned patience with that thing.