Why we don’t embrace change. (And how to change your spiritual-religious-faith practice.)


#wisdom_biscuit: Embrace change.


Life is filled with change.
While we might work really hard to control reality and predict what will happen to keep us from having to deal with change, the bottom line is that we all have to deal with uncertainty and change. And, we can learn to better handle change.
This article will help you towards making positive changes in your spiritual-religious life. But, before doing that, I want us to make a good analysis of why we would even want to change our spiritual-religious-faith life.
The steps to doing so are:

  • An experiment to learn what change feels like
  • An explanation about why we don’t always rush to adopt change
  • A question of your changing needs

What follows is brilliant and it works. This article is slightly long and probably better if you print it out. This spiritual application of Theory of Constraints expert Eli Goldratt’s work can change your life. Please email me if you have questions or want me to help you in applying it to your spiritual-religious life. I am passionate about this. – ?rB


Here is a simple exercise to help you know exactly what change feels like in your body.

  1. Interlace your fingers, one finger on top of the other.
  2. Put your hands down so one of your pinkie fingers is on the bottom. Feel it.
  3. Make a mental note which pinkie is on the bottom of the pile – either left or right.
  4. Undo your hands and interlace your fingers with the opposite pinkie on the bottom.
  5. Notice what it feels like.

The only thing different in your life in this experiment is the order of your fingers. Yet, for most people, this new way of having your hands feels awkward. Some people can only tolerate this awkward feeling for a very short amount of time before laughingly undoing their hands, stating, “That felt gross.”


There are many reasons we don’t change.
The first two reasons not to change

  1. There is nothing uncomfortable about holding your hands in the way you consider to be your normal or natural
  2. There are no compelling reasons to adopt the new position

These are the first two, wonderful reasons to not change:

  • we do not experience enough discomfort with our current way of doing things
  • we are not compelled enough by the benefits of change

Please note: most marketing is targeted to the benefits of change and the detriments of not changing.
The second two reasons not to change

  1. There are two additional reasons we often do not rush to change.
  2. Holding our hands in the new position causes discomfort.
  3. We were comfortable enough with the way we were doing things.

These are the second two, wonderful reasons to not change:

  • adopting change brings new difficulties
  • we like the way we do things

In summary, often we decide not to change because

  1. the benefits of changing aren’t compelling
  2. the potential detriments of changing are scary
  3. the benefits of not changing are compelling
  4. the detriments of not changing aren’t scary enough


Do you want a better spiritual life?

Statistically, most spiritual-religious growth (regarding theology and our understanding of reality) happens when tragedy forces a re-contemplation of what had, until that time, been comfortable for us. That is to say, most people do not willingly enter into a process to re-think how they view the world. It is only when the world seems to be turned on its head that change is needed. In other words, the change is often triggered when the detriment of not changing is too high or when reality no longer seems comfortable.
I would posit that you if you are like most people, you are comfy enough in your current spiritual-religious state.
But perhaps you are overdue for a change? Perhaps you were just waiting for the offer of how to tend toward your spiritual-religious life to show up in your in-box?
Ask yourself the following questions with regard to your faith life:

  • Do you have enough compassion?
  • Are you mindful to a degree you find appropriate?
  • Do you find meaning in your life?
  • Are you angered for reasons that no longer make sense to you?
  • Do you easily accept reality as it is and easily accept love?

With regard to your spiritual-religious life, you needn’t change if:

  1. the benefits of changing aren’t compelling
  2. the potential detriments of changing are scary
  3. the benefits of not changing are compelling
  4. the detriments of not changing aren’t scary enough

So, let me ask you:

  • Are the benefits of changing compelling? Do you see that you could benefit from more compassion, less anger, or more love?
  • Are the potential detriments of changing overwhelming? Can you imagine that the discomfort of being spiritually whole won’t be problematic? Might the potential undesirable effects of becoming a newer version of you not terrify?
  • Are the benefits of not changing compelling? Is the comfy way you have of seeing and being in the world – the things you would have to give up if you made a change – worth holding onto? Are you so insistent that you are right that you don’t allow yourself to wonder otherwise?
  • Are the detriments of not changing motivating enough? Do you suspect that if you continue to do things the way you are doing them, your suffering will cause your continued hardship or even increase your discomfort?

I would love to talk with you about any of these four change quadrants with regard to your spiritual-religious life. In my experience, the benefits of changing one’s spiritual-religious life mightily outweigh the detriments of not-changing and of the potential detriments of the change.
Contact me.
#wisdom_biscuit: Embrace change in your spiritual life.

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