28.40 On the side of the road.


The 77% Weekly
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From the desk of Rabbi Brian

Years ago, my wife Jane and I were on the highway when her car’s engine stopped.

Our forward moving velocity quickly approached zero. Cars approaching us from behind were forced to swerve to avoid hitting us.

Jane managed to put on the hazard lights before panic overtook her.

I sprang, surreally, into calm action.

I noticed that a large truck had purposely stopped behind us to block
traffic, I told Jane to put the car in neutral, quickly exited my side,
and pushed the car to the side of road.

While on the shoulder, Jane’s panic subsided and she telephoned for help.

made nervous conversation until the tow-truck arrived. Then, my legs
started to shake. Shortly thereafter, my whole body started to
convulse. Although I had been “cool” under pressure, afterwards on the
side of the road, once I was safe, I fell apart.

have found that many of us have this “on the side of the road”
experience – falling apart only when we feel safe enough to do so.

my counseling with couples, I have frequently found this to be true.
Often it is only when one member feels loved, truly loved – on the
proverbial side of the road – that they feel safe enough to deal with
old trauma. As another example, often after the death of a loved one,
people find they are able to handle the funeral arrangements, and it is
only later, once they are alone, that their loss becomes real.

one likes to fall apart. We might like the cathartic feeling we have
afterwards, but the process isn’t enjoyable. With this in mind, there
is no spiritual-religious advice for the week. Instead, I encourage you
to find or make for yourself a safe place – a side of the road – where
you can fall apart when you need to.

Spiritual-religious advice for the week (which reads a bit like the copy of a horror movie poster): remember that sometimes it is only when you are relaxed that you can feel anxieties you thought you got away from.

With love,

Rabbi Brian

Rabbi Brian

The 77% Weekly

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