We have a serious spiritual-religious drug problem – both as individuals and as a culture.
We
are perennially trying to alter our experience of reality whenever we
feel emotions that make us uncomfortable – like sadness, anger or
boredom. We self-medicate by forcing ourselves to have happy thoughts,
buying stuff to give us a momentary high, or surfing the internet for
hours at a time.
This is the antithesis of the notion of acceptance (1, 2, 3,) touted by all spiritual-religious traditions as well as the Beatles in the song Let It Be.
We need to get sober!
Somewhere,
somehow, many of us learned and internalized the notion that we
oughtn’t (ever) feel bad or uncomfortable. Consequently, we believe we
should do whatever is necessary to keep ourselves from feeling anything
other than “good.” Our attempts to NOT experience “negative feelings”
requires us to constantly self-medicate. This is unhealthy, delusional,
and exhausting.
The source of our collective misconception (I
have some theories) isn’t as important as understanding the
repercussions of continuing to believe it: MISSING OUT ON LIVING A FULL
LIFE.
Real life (a.k.a. a non-disassociated existence) includes times
of sadness, anger, and boredom.
If we are constantly on the run
from feeling a certain way, we’ll never know how far to run or even
what we are running from. (I’ve found that my sadness and anger, most
of the time, pass quite quickly when I just allow myself to feel them.)
As absurd as it may seem, most adults have never sat through a full
cycle of their feelings.
While we might not like it – I hate sitting in my boredom – there is nothing wrong with feeling sad, anger, or bored.
In the past, I’ve shared my favorite Robert Frost quote and it’s time we revisit it:
The best way out is always through.
So, my spiritual-religious advice for the week: don’t do spiritual-religious drugs; learn to be comfortable in your discomfort.
With love,
Rabbi Brian
And, yes, we’ve talked about this topic in different ways in the past. (1, 2)
