Except if you are Jenn F.

77% Weekly Newsletter

Except if you are Jenn F.

I’m here to help.

As far as I can figure out, that’s why I’m here.

To help.

A saying attributed to John Wesley:

Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can.

Yes.

Accordingly, if I may—in my attempts to do all the good—I’d like to help you.

✧✧✧

Wait!
Stop!
Not so fast!

Before I offer help, I want to acknowledge that “I’d like to help you” might sound (and be) a little presumptuous.

I mean, how—without really knowing you and your specific circumstance—can I know what will help?

Also, who says you have need for improvement?

So, if you don’t care for my unsolicited advice, stop reading this.

Do the next thing. 
Move along.
No one has to read what I wrote.

Except for Jenn M.

She has to read this.

Why?

She’s my editor.

✧✧✧

Good.

I was hoping you’d choose to keep reading.

✧✧✧

Here’s my advice: Treat every person as kindly as you can.

That’s it.

Be as kind as you can to as many people as you can.

Kind to everyone?

Maybe not everyone.

But to as many as you can.

Kind to the assholes?

Yes.

Even to the person who shouts, “Learn to drive!” at you after you mistakenly run over an orange safety cone in the parking garage when leaving the sports arena in Portland.

Even to the kid in the car parked outside your kitchen window, who opens their Acura’s door, dumps a container from their lunch onto the curb outside your house, and then closes the door. 

Even on the phone with Rita—the customer service agent who can’t find record of your conversation with Julie (the supervisor) who promised that if the package you had sent to your friend in San Quentin penitentiary didn’t arrive by Friday she’d issue a refund of both the order and the expedited shipping charge—who tells you that she isn’t sure that she can put through the refund. 

(Oddly specific examples, I know.)

✧✧✧

How to be kind in those situations?

We might reply to the driver, “I thank you for your concern about my driving.”

We can walk out of the house to the Acura, pick up the garbage, take it over to the trash bin, deposit it, wave to the people in the car, and take a bow. (And witness the tinted car window open enough to hear a shout of “I’m sorry.”)

We can joke to Rita, “Might you put me back on hold as you check with the supervisor on duty?”

It might (will?) take some practice, but we can train ourselves to be the kindest person we know.

✧✧✧

Also, I want to mention, but not get sidetracked into expanding this article too much—be kind to yourself as well.

✧✧✧

To paraphrase Wesley:

Be as kind as you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can.

✧✧✧

This is a call for you, {{ subscriber.name }} who chose to read this article, to be kind.

Everyone should be kind.

And, that includes my very kind editor, Jenn M. 

💙rB 

See Me.

Shoes.Shoes.Shoes.  The long glass wall separates me from a display of more than 100,000 shoes at Auschwitz-Birkenau.  Men’s shoes and women’s shoes and children’s shoes and baby shoes.  Everyday shoes and work shoes and formal shoes and boots and sandals and slippers and high-heeled shoes and orthopedic shoes.  Woven sandals and wooden-soled shoes and leather shoes and cloth shoes.  Shoes

Read More »

Last Tuesday / This Tuesday

Last Tuesday. I’m sitting in an Adirondack chair, my feet resting on a well-weathered log here in Sisters, Oregon. It’s my family’s annual week-long vacation at the same beautiful house we’ve rented for the past four summers. My favorite spot. Just above the little creek. Most of my worries are 153 miles away. ✧✧✧ This Tuesday. I’m sitting in my

Read More »

Five More Wisdom Biscuits

  1. I know garbage “You should put the garbage bins back where they were before you remodelled,” I tell the managers of the Grant High School construction project when they host a neighborhood forum. “Funny thing, that,” the lady in charge says, “It’s a bit counterintuitive.” She explains something city planners learned about beaches. “If there is a garbage

Read More »
77% Weekly Newsletter
77% Weekly Newsletter