We often come head-to-head with what I like to call our “frustration dam.” It is essentially our breaking point for dealing with daily challenges. Too many irks (or too big of an annoyance) and the proverbial flood waters come.
I imagine that each of us has a dam that keeps us from getting angry or upset at the frustrations of life. Each of our frustration dams has a specific dimension to it. There are people who have very low dams and those with high dams.
If someone’s dam is at a level three and a frustration of level four comes along, it is too much – the water spills and discomfort follows.
Then there are people who seem to have a dam that can withhold a level nine. For those individuals, when something comes along at a frustration level of three or four, the levee holds, they don’t seem bothered.
While it might be a good exercise, I’m not going to suggest that we try to build up our dams any higher. I’m going to suggest we reflect on the thickness of our bases.
There is great power in the force of many little annoyances.
Level one and two frustrations in and of themselves do not wreck a frustration dam. But, it is the stuff at the bottom that is exerting the most force on the dam, not what is on the top. In the course of a day, you don’t need to withstand as many level seven annoyances as you do threes. However, a slew of fours might set you over the edge. It is the stuff we have built up inside us, pushing against us that is the worst.
Given this, we need to tend to those little annoyances. We need to accept and admit when life annoys us as opposed to pretending that we are fine with it.
How?
Let’s start with learning to be honest with ourselves (and others) that the constant _______(fill in a low level source of annoyance)_______ in our life actually does impact us. While the _______(fill in a low level source of annoyance)_______ has been going on so long that we hardly seem to notice it and we seem immune to it, it does effect us. Of course it does.
After two years of living in Los Angeles, I became accustomed to the traffic. It no longer annoyed me as much. While there are studies that show that unrealized stress is not as harmful to the body, there is no way to describe the liberation I felt when my commute went from 40 minutes on three freeways in LA to 12 minutes on surface streets in Portland.
It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. Jiddu Krishnamurti
What is the downside of letting people know that we are frustrated and expressing those feelings? As so long as we do not misdirect our anger, it gives us a release valve, and lets some of the pressure out.
This week’s #wisdom_biscuit:
If someone’s dam is at a level three and a frustration of level four comes along, it is too much – the water spills and discomfort follows.
Then there are people who seem to have a dam that can withhold a level nine. For those individuals, when something comes along at a frustration level of three or four, the levee holds, they don’t seem bothered.
While it might be a good exercise, I’m not going to suggest that we try to build up our dams any higher. I’m going to suggest we reflect on the thickness of our bases.
There is great power in the force of many little annoyances.
Level one and two frustrations in and of themselves do not wreck a frustration dam. But, it is the stuff at the bottom that is exerting the most force on the dam, not what is on the top. In the course of a day, you don’t need to withstand as many level seven annoyances as you do threes. However, a slew of fours might set you over the edge. It is the stuff we have built up inside us, pushing against us that is the worst.
Given this, we need to tend to those little annoyances. We need to accept and admit when life annoys us as opposed to pretending that we are fine with it.
How?
Let’s start with learning to be honest with ourselves (and others) that the constant _______(fill in a low level source of annoyance)_______ in our life actually does impact us. While the _______(fill in a low level source of annoyance)_______ has been going on so long that we hardly seem to notice it and we seem immune to it, it does effect us. Of course it does.
After two years of living in Los Angeles, I became accustomed to the traffic. It no longer annoyed me as much. While there are studies that show that unrealized stress is not as harmful to the body, there is no way to describe the liberation I felt when my commute went from 40 minutes on three freeways in LA to 12 minutes on surface streets in Portland.
It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. Jiddu Krishnamurti
What is the downside of letting people know that we are frustrated and expressing those feelings? As so long as we do not misdirect our anger, it gives us a release valve, and lets some of the pressure out.
This week’s #wisdom_biscuit:
For our spiritual and physical fitness, let’s tend to our frustration dams. If we’re honest about when we’re frustrated, we will in the long run be stronger.
With love,
Rabbi Brian
