I hate this idea.

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My assessment of the Apple Watch—get it for this singular feature: its ability to ping your phone—sold both my neighbor Betsy and my mom on getting theirs.

Betsy and I are doing facetime. We are co-sleuthing with Google: How to get notifications on an iPhone and iWatch simultaneously.

I read, step by step, as Betsy maneuvers in the seemingly-infinite mesh of nesting settings.

“Sorry, Brian,” she says when we reconnect our video after each test, “notifications still only on the watch; nothing on on the phone.”

***

“I hate jazz.” I said and paused.

I was addressing the 49 zoom boxes of people at my Saturday service.

I repeated the first three words again and then continued:

“I hate jazz. You need to know that. Before we proceed. You need to know that I hate jazz and think it is stupid. Should anyone ask, I don’t like jazz.”

I calculated to begin with declaring my hatred for jazz as to disarm any listeners who truly disdained jazz so that they would not be distracted in the analogy I  was about to make.

“I hate jazz. But jazz can teach us something about living life.”

I am attempting the same technique right now:

“I hate the following quote by Almaas.”

***

I hate the following quote by Almaas.

Your conflicts, all the difficult things, the problematic situations in your life, are not chance or haphazard. They are actually yours. They are specifically yours, designed specifically for you by a part of you that loves you more than anything else. The part of you that loves you more than anything else has created roadblocks to lead you to yourself…. It will go to extreme measures to wake you up; it will make you suffer greatly if you don’t listen. What else can it do? That’s its purpose.

***

Betsy and I figured out why the watch seemingly keeps the phone from receiving notifications: it’s supposed to.

We found an article explaining it: the phone automatically (and no, you can’t change this setting) routes notifications to the watch.

Betsy said a phrase I hadn’t heard, “It’s not a bug; it’s a feature.”

That phrase, from 1995 and most popular in 2005, somehow never got on my radar.

An example of “It’s not a bug; it’s a feature” could be Ford’s Model T coming only in black. Consumers thought it a limitation. Ford thought it would help move society towards social justice.

It’s not a bug; it’s a feature.

***

What if all the things that annoy you in your life weren’t bugs, but features?

All the things that annoy you.

Maybe they are not chance or haphazard!

Maybe they are there to wake you up?

Maybe the person choosing to avoid real science about the vaccine is there to teach you something about compassion?

Ponder it a moment.

I hate that idea.

Hiawatha Johnson, JR.

January 2026 — Portland, ORE Hiawatha Johnson, Jr., a mentor and friend died. Summer 1985 — Magic Camp Oakdale, Long Island I’m 15. He’s 30. He wears a dashiki. He uses a walking stick. I’m prepubescent. I listen to comedy cassettes on a Walkman. I’m in awe. ✧✧✧ I perform a rather banal magic act that year — me narrating

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The Delay

2026 issue #03 — The Delay I’m in my buddy David’s car. He’s driving me from my mom’s apartment in NYC to Newark, NJ, where I’m going to catch a plane back home to Portland. David and I have been friends for fifty years. Amazing. My phone dings. I look at it. Nothing important. Just an alert from United. *

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Lifeboats. Summer. Bridges. Helpers.

Lifeboats. Summer. Bridges. Helpers. The rapid succession of a toddler-drunk-on-power messes is overwhelming. I’m exhausted by the sheer number of (what seem to me) reprehensible acts. My country is sickening me. federal agents shooting at (and killing) civilians actions against immigrants, federal workers, the environment, reproductive rights invading a sovereign nation and abducting its leader pardoning people who committed reprehensible

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77% Weekly Newsletter
77% Weekly Newsletter