I’m sorry. I hear you.

77% Weekly Newsletter

I’m sorry. I hear you.


The child whose day it is to empty the dishwasher did so before going to school today.

Hooray.

(It doesn’t always happen.)

And I decide, before I disappear into ROTB work—in the spirit of everyone putting in a little extra effort—to load the contents of the very crowded sink into the machine and start it.

I leave the knives and wooden cutting board that need to be hand washed.

Maybe I’ll do those at lunch time.
Maybe Jane will see the effort the kids and I put in and she’ll do them.

I’m answering emails in my basement office when I hear Jane from upstairs, “You don’t need to defend yourself, but I know I’ve repeatedly asked you and the kids to get the food scraps out of the bottom of the sink. It’s disgusting.”

I want to say, “Do I not get credit for clearing out the sink?”

But I don’t.

Jane continues from the kitchen, “All you need to do is say, ‘I hear you.’”

I swallow and do my best to say, “I hear you, Jane,” without any snotty tone.

It’s easy to defend ourselves.
Far easier.
But that doesn’t always mean it’s the right thing to do.

Let’s all try this week to not always defend ourselves, depending on the situation. It gives other people dignity. Sometimes “I hear you” is enough.

A Big Ask

Beloved, What I’m about to ask is a very big ask. You (probably) aren’t going to want to do it. But I’m still going to ask. Because it’s important. Very important. Stop hating.   ✧✧✧   “No one is born hating another person… People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to

Read More »

Slow Down, Good Sam

In 1973, researchers John Darley and Daniel Batson at Princeton University conducted a study based on the biblical story of “The Good Samaritan.” ✧✧✧ A little background on the story: Samaritans, in the biblical world, were not considered “good.” The phrase “Good Samaritan” would have sounded like a political oxymoron—something like “compassionate MAGA” or “patriotic liberal.” In the story, a

Read More »

A Letter

Beloved, Let me tell you something I often say when counseling those mourning the loss of a loved one. “Unless you are a rabbi or minister, you shouldn’t be good at writing eulogies.” And then I add: “Let me give you a pro tip—think about writing a letter. Because you know how to write a letter and this way you

Read More »
77% Weekly Newsletter
77% Weekly Newsletter