Right, Happy, or Kind?

My boy, my son—my beloved Emmett, is heading off to college in just six weeks. He’ll be going to Wesleyan University in Middletown, Connecticut.

I had been very upset about him leaving—until I had this realization: The whole point of this 18-year experiment has been to launch him—you don’t build an airplane to not fly it!

*** 

In preparation for him going solo, I’ve been checking to see if he remembers some of the life lessons I’ve tried to teach him.

“Emmett,” I ask, as we sit by the creek on vacation in Sisters, Oregon, “Do you remember what I said at Ellery’s Bat Mitzvah?”

Him: “About being happy or kind?”

Me: “Not exactly—it was about being happy or right.”

Him: “You said kind. You asked Ellery if she’d rather be happy or kind.”

Me: “No, you are wrong. I remember it.”

***

I have the video to prove it.

https://youtu.be/GTutj5VwCIo?si=MoF4ErkTY4mj7p01

At minute 5:30, I ask my niece, Em’s cousin, “Would you rather be happy or right?”

However, in correcting Emmett I was proving him right. 

Why not just let Emmett misremember what I said?

I’d rather be kind than right.

There was no need to correct Emmett.

“Would you rather be happy or kind?” is a great question.

Possibly an even better question.

Even if it’s not what I said.

***

Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true.

-Robert Brault