The Delay
2026 issue #03 — The Delay
I’m in my buddy David’s car. He’s driving me from my mom’s apartment in NYC to Newark, NJ, where I’m going to catch a plane back home to Portland.
David and I have been friends for fifty years. Amazing.
My phone dings.
I look at it. Nothing important. Just an alert from United.
* Flight UA1292 to Portland departs at 6:29pm from Gate C86 in Terminal C.
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After check-in, I mentally thank Jane for strong-arming me into getting TSA PreCheck—the line for regular security is over 45 minutes long.
Another two texts:
* Flight UA1292 from New York/Newark to Portland has a new departure time because an earlier delay impacted your plane’s arrival.
* Your flight now departs at 7:00pm from Gate C86 in Terminal C.
Not a big deal.
A half-hour delay.
Thirty minutes later:
* Your flight now departs at 7:56pm from Gate C86 in Terminal C.
An additional hour delay.
Fifteen minutes after that:
* Your flight now departs at 8:20pm from Gate C86 in Terminal C.
It continues, over and over again.
And, the last time, earlier with a new gate!
* Your flight now departs at 8:45pm from Gate C86 in Terminal C.
* Your flight now departs at 9:00pm from Gate C86 in Terminal C.
* Your flight now departs at 9:25pm from Gate C86 in Terminal C.
* Your flight now departs at 10:00pm from Gate C86 in Terminal C.
* Your flight now departs at 9:00pm from Gate C135 in Terminal C.
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The delay doesn’t really faze me.
I mean, where do I have to go?
I don’t have a connection.
I want to be in my bed.
And I’ll get there.
Just not on my schedule.
I’ll be a bit (lots) more tired than I had hoped.
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I am not dead. I also/still get upset. It just doesn’t consume like it used to.
I have trained over time — starting with small annoyances — to acknowledge the upset, be present to it, loving, almost nurturing.
And, humble-brag, I’ve gotten kinda good at it.
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If you want my help — or are just curious about my promise to get you two extra gallons of patience a week — let me know: https://rotb.org/calmer/
I do 1:1 and small group Spiritual Direction.
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Famed therapist Terry Real talks about a night when his young children needed tending to until late into the night.
Terry asks his beloved wife to excuse his participation as he had a big speech to give the next day.
“So, you’ll be tired when you give your speech,” she tells him.
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So, I sit in the terminal for an extra two and a half hours.
I’ll be tired tomorrow.
But, not upset.
💙rB
